it burns and it stings 

as the bow bites the strings

pain from an old wound i can't ignore

the smell of new grass

bright shards of broken glass

and a kiss by the tavern's back door

those were the trappings and that was the time

it didn't last long but it was sublime

i'm much less reckless now that i'm grown

but i'd risk it all

for one sad, sad song

about someone that i loved

a long time ago.


a slice of the moon

on the last day of june

lights the swings and the old jungle gym

a glance and a tryst 

chasing gin with a twist

i was leaving it just wasn't with him


those were the textures and that was the taste

the dew in my hair and the warmth on my face

now i am reaping the crop that i've sown

and i'd risk it all

for one sad, sad song

about someone that i loved

a long time ago


now i wouldn't change a thing

i just need a little space to keep

the echoes of a song i used to sing.

I have never had "gin with a twist"

Sometimes you just need the name of a drink that rhymes with "tryst," you know? Actually, I've only ever had gin a handful of times in my life but there's something very wistful and melancholy about the thought of it. 

I've fallen in romantic love a few times in my life. Probably... four. No wait, five. That seems like a lot to me, but I think it's accurate. Not all of those being-in-loves lasted a very long time, because being in love doesn't always mean you rent an apartment together and adopt a disobedient cat. Sometimes it means you're fifteen and you would fall in love with a goldfish if it gave you sufficient validation. Sometimes it means that you're both great people but you're also really just children playing house and you haven't figured out how to be a decent human being, so things just don't go well. Five is correct, given the fluid nature of romantic human love. 

I think that no matter how happy I am in my chosen life, there will always be a part of me that mourns for all the thousands of paths I won't get to explore and lives I won't get to lead. After all, we only get to do this once. This song is just a little place where I can keep those feelings.